YEAR: 1997
GENRE: Point & Click Adventure
WHERE TO GET IT: GOG
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STANDARD MODE
PART 3: THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND
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YOUR SHIP
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DECK
Watch the cut
scene. You have a crew, you have a ship, and you have Elaine. Now
you have to travel to Blood Island to find the ring that will uncurse
her. However, when you are boarded by the evil Captain Rottingham, your
crew are more interested in watching a whale in the sea. Captain
Rottingham challenges you to some Insult Sword Fighting. Unfortunately,
the insults you knew previously don’t work out at sea. So you need to
learn a whole bunch of new insults. Captain Rottingham steals your map
that tells you how to get to Blood Island, then leaves. You HAVE to get
that map back! And that means upgrading your ship. After trying to
scold your crew, they burst out into song. Choose which verse they will
sing next. The ‘Scurvy’ verse will end the song.
When song is over,
Haggis will ask you what kind of Captain you are. This is basically
giving you a choice for the upcoming action section - do you want to fight enemy
ships yourself, or do you want some help to shoot enemy ships. Tell
Haggis you’d rather let them help you out. When you win a round of Insult
Sword Fighting, return to Puerto Pollo Town, and upgrade your ship’s
guns.
Look at Haggis’s
Navigational Chart and click on a ship (but not Captain Rottingham’s ship) to
attack it. You then board the ship. Talk to the pirate, and
initiate a round of Insult Sword Fighting. The insults you have to learn
are as so:
Pirate Insults
- Every enemy I've met, I've
annihilated!
- With your breath, I'm sure they
all suffocated.
- You're as repulsive as a monkey
in a negligee.
- I look THAT much like your
fiancée?
- I’ve never seen such clumsy
swordplay.
- You would have, but you were
always running away.
- Would you like to be buried or cremated?
- With you around, I'd prefer to be
fumigated.
- Heaven preserve me, you look like
something that's died!
- The only way you'll be preserved
is in formaldehyde.
- I'll skewer you like a sow at a
buffet.
- When I'm done with YOU, you'll be
a boneless fillet!
- Killing you would be justifiable
homicide.
- Then killing you must be
justifiable fungicide.
- Engarde! Touché!
- Oh, that's SO cliché!
- Throughout the Caribbean my great
deeds are celebrated!
- Too bad they're all fabricated.
- When your father first saw you,
he must've been mortified.
- At least mine can be identified.
- You can't match my witty
repartee.
- I could if you would use some
breath spray.
- I can't rest until you've been
exterminated!
- Then perhaps you should switch
to decaffeinated.
- You're the ugliest monster ever
created.
- If you don't count all the ones
you've dated.
- I'll leave you devastated,
mutilated, and perforated.
- Your odour alone makes me
aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!
- Coming face to face with me must
leave you petrified.
- Is that your face? I
thought it was your backside!
- I'll hound you night and day!
- Then be a good dog.
Sit! Stay!
When you’ve learned
all those insults, you can afford the best cannons, and you’re good enough to
take on Captain Rottingham. Board his ship, and initiate the Insult Sword
Fighting. He uses different insults from the other pirates, but you can
use the same replies:
Captain Rottingham
Insults
- My attacks have left entire
islands depopulated.
- With your breath, I'm sure they
all suffocated.
- You have the sex appeal of a
sharpee.
- I look THAT much like your
fiancée?
- I'll give you a choice: you can be
gutted or decapitated.
- With you around, I'd prefer to be
fumigated.
- Nothing on this earth can save
your hide!
- The only way you'll be preserved
is in formaldehyde.
- Your lips look like they belong
on the catch of the day.
- When I'm done with YOU, you'll be
a boneless fillet!
- When I'm done with you, you'll be
rotted and putrefied.
- Then killing you must be
justifiable fungicide.
- Your mother wears a toupee!
- Oh, that's SO cliché!
- My skills with a sword are highly
venerated.
- Too bad they're all fabricated.
- You're a disgrace to your
species, you're so undignified.
- At least mine can be identified.
- Nothing can stop me from blowing
you away.
- I could if you would use some
breath spray.
- Your stench would make an
outhouse cleaner irritated!
- Then perhaps you should switch
to decaffeinated.
- Your looks would make a pig
nauseated.
- If you don't count all the ones
you've dated.
- I can't tell which of my traits
has you most intimidated.
- Your odour alone makes me
aggravated,
agitated, and infuriated!
- Never before have I faced someone
so sissified!
- Is that your face? I
thought it was your backside!
- You'll find I'm dogged and
relentless to my prey!
- Then be a good dog. Sit!
Stay!
Nice work! You have defeated Captain Rottingham, and you’ve got
your MAP to Blood Island back.
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