16 October 2021

Monkey Island 3: The Curse Of Monkey Island

 

YEAR:  1997


GENRE:  Point & Click Adventure


WHERE TO GET IT:   GOG



Part 1                Part 4

Part 2                Part 5

Part 3                Part 6



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MEGA MONKEY MODE (EXTRA PUZZLES)

PART 3:  THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND

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YOUR SHIP

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DECK

 

Watch the cut scene.  You have a crew, you have a ship, and you have Elaine.  Now you have to travel to Blood Island to find the ring that will uncurse her.  However, when you are boarded by the evil Captain Rottingham, your crew are more interested in watching a whale in the sea.  Captain Rottingham challenges you to some Insult Sword Fighting.  Unfortunately, the insults you knew previously don’t work out at sea.  So you need to learn a whole bunch of new insults.  Captain Rottingham steals your map that tells you how to get to Blood Island, then leaves.  You HAVE to get that map back!  And that means upgrading your ship.  After trying to scold your crew, they burst out into song.  Choose which verse they will sing next.  The ‘Scurvy’ verse will end the song. 

 

When song is over, Haggis will ask you what kind of Captain you are.  This is basically giving you a choice for the upcoming action section - do you want to fight enemy ships yourself, or do you want some help to shoot enemy ships.  Tell Haggis you’d rather let them help you out.  When you win a round of Insult Sword Fighting, return to Puerto Pollo Town, and upgrade your ship’s guns. 

 

Look at Haggis’s Navigational Chart and click on a ship (but not Captain Rottingham’s ship) to attack it.  You then board the ship.  Talk to the pirate, and initiate a round of Insult Sword Fighting.  The insults you have to learn are as so: 

 

 

        Pirate Insults

 

        -       Every enemy I've met, I've annihilated!

        -       With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.

 

        -       You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.

        -       I look THAT much like your fiancée?

 

        -       I’ve never seen such clumsy swordplay.

        -       You would have, but you were always running away.

 

        -       Would you like to be buried or cremated?

        -       With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.

 

        -       Heaven preserve me, you look like something that's died!

        -       The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.

 

        -       I'll skewer you like a sow at a buffet.

        -       When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!

 

        -       Killing you would be justifiable homicide.

        -       Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.

 

        -       Engarde!  Touché!

        -       Oh, that's SO cliché!

 

        -       Throughout the Caribbean my great deeds are  celebrated!

        -       Too bad they're all fabricated.

 

        -       When your father first saw you, he must've been mortified.

        -       At least mine can be identified.

 

        -       You can't match my witty repartee.

        -       I could if you would use some breath spray.

 

        -       I can't rest until you've been exterminated!

        -       Then perhaps you should switch to  decaffeinated.

 

        -       You're the ugliest monster ever created.

        -       If you don't count all the ones you've dated.

 

        -       I'll leave you devastated, mutilated, and perforated.

        -       Your odour alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!

 

        -       Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified.

        -       Is that your face?  I thought it was your backside!

 

        -       I'll hound you night and day!

        -       Then be a good dog.  Sit!  Stay!

 

 

When you’ve learned all those insults, you can afford the best cannons, and you’re good enough to take on Captain Rottingham.  Board his ship, and initiate the Insult Sword Fighting.  He uses different insults from the other pirates, but you can use the same replies:

 

 

        Captain Rottingham Insults

 

        -       My attacks have left entire islands depopulated.

        -       With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.

 

        -       You have the sex appeal of a sharpee.

        -       I look THAT much like your fiancée?

 

        -       I'll give you a choice:  you can be gutted or decapitated.

        -       With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.

 

        -       Nothing on this earth can save your hide!

        -       The only way you'll be preserved is in  formaldehyde.

 

        -       Your lips look like they belong on the catch of the day.

        -       When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet!

 

        -       When I'm done with you, you'll be rotted and putrefied.

        -       Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.

 

        -       Your mother wears a toupee!

        -       Oh, that's SO cliché!

 

        -       My skills with a sword are highly venerated.

        -       Too bad they're all fabricated.

 

        -       You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified.

        -       At least mine can be identified.

 

        -       Nothing can stop me from blowing you away.

        -       I could if you would use some breath spray.

 

        -       Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated!

        -       Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.

 

        -       Your looks would make a pig nauseated.

        -       If you don't count all the ones you've dated.

 

        -       I can't tell which of my traits has you most intimidated.

        -       Your odour alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated!

 

        -       Never before have I faced someone so sissified!

        -       Is that your face?  I thought it was your backside!

 

        -       You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey!

        -       Then be a good dog.  Sit!  Stay!

 

 

 

Nice work!  You have defeated Captain Rottingham, and you’ve got your MAP to Blood Island back. 

 

 

 

 

Continued In Part 4...


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